Despite the fact that I am a whole adult, it still confounds me that human beings can be deliberately mean and nasty to one another.
Even when people have been horrid to me, I still look for redeeming qualities and reasons to excuse their behaviour.
Maybe they suffered childhood trauma and can’t help lashing out at the world, no matter how nice the world is towards them.
Maybe they are carrying their own pain that doesn’t allow them to accept genuine friendship, or even just to not stir and allow peace to prevail.
It has been hard for me to accept that some people just have a mean streak and that they don’t need to have a reason.
These are my immediate thoughts when I read about yet another Miss SA finalist whose past appears to be coming back to haunt her.
Levern Jose is the 23-year-old Kimberley native whose modelling aspirations now hang in the balance, after former high school peers took to social media to reveal an alleged history of bullying.
If all is to be believed, then she apparently went around with a crew of fellow nasties, treating other girls horribly.
The scene of the alleged playground crimes is Pretoria’s Lyttelton Manor High School, whose motto ironically is “Through Knowledge on to Dignity”.
By coming forward and exposing her history, it’s the “dignity” bit that Levern’s accusers are after. Some are pointing out that it may all just be an orchestrated campaign by her haters, which is of course possible, but then the silence from her, the school and the Miss SA organisation has been deafening.
This is especially conspicuous considering that Levern used to be very active on social media, as is typical for her generation.
Others argue now that she is an adult, she may have changed her ways and therefore shouldn’t be held to the same values as her teen years.
I’ll be honest with you and say that I lean in this direction, and maybe that’s my forgiving tendency speaking, but hear me out.
There’s a racism element implied in the bullying and while I’m not a racist apologist, I am an apologist for youthful ignorance and stupidity.
The previous time this happened was three years ago, also with a Miss SA hopeful, Bianca Schoombee, whose tweets when she was 14 years old cost her dearly.
Now correct me if I’m wrong, but haven’t we all done some cringe-worthy things as teenagers?
These two young ladies were simply the products of their upbringing and their environments.
I noticed some people saying that racists and bullies are incapable of change. That is a cynical view, as all of us grow with age and experience.
In fact, change is the only thing that is pretty much guaranteed with people.
But an equal truth is that change takes time, and often also a seminal event that causes a shift in thinking.
No doubt the internet will rejoice if Levern somehow exits the pageant, as Bianca did. But I’m not sure this will have the desired effect.
As I said previously, I think we missed an opportunity to educate someone who would’ve had a big and influential platform.
Instead, their narrow childish views are being used to punish them, some seeing it as their comeuppance. And that in itself is where we come unstuck; the cycle of abuse and vengeance that keeps us trapped in an angry limbo from which we never grow.
Assuming she won the title, Levern would’ve stepped into the big stilettos of Zozibini Tunzi, arguably one of our most successful exports, going on to hold the Miss Universe title.
And in a world where such things matter, which they clearly do for both Bianca and Levern, that fact alone would’ve been a lesson in race relations for both of them.
All of this comes hot on the heels of the video of one boy violently bullying another at a private, religious school in Cape Town.
This should definitely be a cautionary tale for young people, living in a digital world where their words and actions can easily come back to destroy them; the internet never forgets.
But even if you decide to be mean to someone quietly, remember that some of the world’s most successful people were once quiet and easily intimidated.
There’s a good chance that the person you mistreat today, just because you can, may one day end up being in a position to destroy or embrace you.
Think Elon Musk.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za