Eish! It’s tough wearing a Manchester United badge these days.
I ran into a fellow journalist while we were picking our kids up at creche on Tuesday afternoon ahead of their flou Champions League exit to Atletico Madrid.
Even before kickoff, he held his head in his hands as he said he should have listened to his Liverpool-supporting uncles rather than give into classmates’ peer pressure of backing Alex Ferguson’s team.
I felt his pain. Everyone has been there. Arsenal fans like me know that the glory days don’t last - something Chelsea fans may also find out soon.
Even listening to United legends moan about the current team reminds me of Arsenal Fan TV.
After their European exit damned the Red Devils to their worst trophy drought in 40 years, Paul Scholes, Rio Ferdinand and Owen Hargreaves gave their opinions.
And they did not slaan een hou mis as they let loose on Ralf Rangnick and company.
Scholes ripped into the German interim coach, saying that he didn’t know how he got the job in the first place.
Typical of Scholes to make a lunging late tackle, given that he didn’t have a bad word to say about his pal Ole Gunnar Solskjaer in the previous three years.
Maar nou ja, but he does want Rangnick out and called for United to go and get Thomas Tuchel or Antonio Conte, saying: “This is Manchester United. Man U. The biggest club in the world. Man United. Any top coach wants to be at Old Trafford.”
I don’t know how true those words ring nowadays, but Conte leaving Tottenham is always on the cards and no one knows how things will work out at Chelsea with Tuchel, who is now a genuine target.
Tuchel’s first six months at Stamford Bridge is just the sort of quick turnaround that United need to get back amongst the elite.
But how United finish the season will be massive in determining just how far they are behind the top clubs and how big the challenge will be.
With nine games left, they need to pick themselves up before facing Leicester with matches against top-four rivals Arsenal and showdowns with Liverpool and Chelsea to come.
Relegation fighters Norwich and Everton won’t be pushovers and neither will Crystal Palace.
And with West Ham, Wolves and Spurs all fighting to Europe, United are in for a tough fight.
No “top-class” coach is going to come to Old Trafford without European football and neither will the players to improve the team.
And even if they do, Rio Ferdinand doesn’t believe the club has a winning culture anymore.
He reckons that any player will just succumb to the toxic vibe.
Will Ronaldo stay without Champions League football? Will Paul Pogba sign a new contract? Dean Henderson, Jesse Lingard and Anthony Martial want out, while Marcus Rashford is considering his future.
And, eh-em, Harry Maguire is the captain.
Rio may be right. Perhaps a clearout is needed. I’ve seen it with my own eyes at Arsenal. Mikel Arteta chased out Mesut Ozil and Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang and the Gunners are now looking up.
Which brings me to Hargreaves’ two cents. Bring back more former players.
Now before we point to Ryan Giggs and Ole, we have to consider many other United greats who just haven’t cut it trying to emulate Fergie.
Gary Neville, Roy Keane, Steve Bruce, Mark Hughes, Jaap Stam and Scholesy have bombed big time in the dugout.
Maybe United do need a bit of a culture change.
One thing I always get from Red Devils that some sort of hero is gonna make sense of all the chaos.
No one ever cares if people aren’t really doing their jobs. All they want is a chairman who will sign their coach the best player in the world and the heritage will do the rest.
That may have worked in the past, but football has left United behind.
Bringing back Ronaldo, a crumbling stadium and trying to learn Red Bull tricks from Rangnick stinks to decay and going backwards.
It’s time to face up to that.
matthew.marcus@inl.co.za