Q Hey Pearl, I’ve got a situation and I need some of that Auntie wisdom.
I’m 26 years old, and I’m about four months preggies with my first laaitie.
I’ll tell you, Auntie, this is a bit of a gemors, because it was only two weeks after meeting my berk when wham-bam, en ek is met die lyf!
The timing couldn’t be worse for our relationship, but hey, at least I’ve got a steady job.
Actually, I’m over the moon about becoming a mom, but this pregnancy is putting serious strain on our love boat.
We’re struggling to build trust and comfort, even though it was love at first sight for me.
My berk is also dik excited to be a dad, and we’re working lekker together with a plan and already saving every cent we can.
But here’s the drama – sy ma kan my nie vat nie.
I’d love to spill the whole pot of tea, but it boils down to this: she thinks I’ll be a vrot mom.
Why? Well, my parents are pretty liberal, and they let me choose my own path in life and let me move about as I wished (which led to my kwaai job in the end).
She also thinks it’s versin that my parents aren’t living under the same roof. They’re happily married, but their jobs are in different towns so they live apart.
To top it off, my boyfriend’s mother is convinced that because I work outdoors, I’m not fit to pop out her grandkids.
I want a decent relationship with this woman but every time I talk to her, I end up in tears.
Auntie, help a sister out – what should I do?
From Serena.
A Oh my sweet potato, you’ve got yourself quite a stew going on there!
Having to deal with an unexpected pregnancy is one thing, but pile that on top of a new relationship and your baby’s ouma giving you grief, and things get real stressful, real fast.
Ja, people can be judgemental, and it’s clear she’s got her opinions, and she's not afraid to dish them out.
So, Auntie Pearl’s got a few tips for you...
Kill her with kindness: As hard as it might be, try to be polite and respectful whenever you’re around her. Show her that you’re a good-hearted person, despite her assumptions.
Set boundaries: If she’s crossing the line with her comments, calmly let her know that it’s not OK. Stand up for yourself without getting into a big showdown.
Family events: at these gatherings, stick close to your boyfriend and keep the focus on your love for him and the baby. Avoid confrontations, meisie.
Seek common ground: Try to find topics or interests you both share. Maybe there’s something you can bond over, even if it’s not motherhood-related.
Remember, the Waterfront wasn’t built in a day, and neither are strong family bonds. It might take time for her to warm up to you.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za