Q Hi Auntie Pearl, I’ve got a real situation on my hands. So, there’s this friend of mine who is loaded!
Now while it’s lekker that he sometimes treats us to fancy dinners and buys the drinks in the club, there is also a down side.
He sometimes gives me advice about stuff, but it is just too far-fetched. It’s like he’s living in a different universe, while I’m stuck here dealing with my everyday stress and drama.
This guy has tons of money all because his family scored some big contract up in Gauteng.
Black Diamond and all that. No job hassles, living in a fancy area, going on lavish vacations... hell, he even spoils his dogs with fancy perms. Can you believe it?
Anyway, it didn’t bother me, but lately, it’s been grinding my gears like a dodgy car engine.
Whenever I talk about my problems or stresses, he comes at me with suggestions like “Other people have real problems” or “Just take a vacation for a few months”.
Seriously? I’d lose my job, and I can barely afford a trip to the local café, let alone a fancy getaway.
To be honest, I lost my cool recently when he made a similar suggestion. I think I’ve been bottling up my frustrations for way too long, and it just burst out in a not-so-pretty way. Don’t get me wrong, I did apologise.
So, Auntie Pearl, help a sista out! I don’t wanna cut this friend out of my life, but I also don’t want to end up saying something I’ll regret later. What’s the move here?
From Sammy
A Yoh, it must be lekker to have more dough than the auntie who bakes koeksisters for a living! Auntie can understand that their “advice” has got you feeling gatvol.
It’s like they’re living in a parallel universe where dogs get perms, while we’re just trying to make ends meet, right?
But Auntie can also hear that you really care about your friend. They’ve been there for you through thick and thin.
Now, before we go any further, let Auntie tell you something: You’re not alone in this. We all know mense who are more well off than us, and we all have struggles and stresses; and sometimes, we just need a listening ear to vent and share our burdens.
But when your friend’s advice is about as practical as wearing high heels to a rugby match, it’s time to do something to protect the friendship.
There’s a gedagte buzzing in Auntie’s head that your friend doesn’t even realise the impact of their advice?
Sometimes, people with money like to shower others with suggestions, but they don’t fully comprehend the reality of your everyday life.
You need to give them a gentle reminder that not everyone has the same resources and opportunities. Don’t tune them grief, keep it balanced. Say something like “Thank you for the advice, but that’s not really going to help me in my situation because I’m not as blessed as you at this moment”.
You see what Auntie did there? You are not just dissing their useless advice, you still thank them for wanting to help, but then set them straight that it’s not working for you.
Maybe slip it in there as well that you’re not always asking for their advice when you’re just sharing your life stuff. We all need a friend who can just listen and offer support, not a walking, talking catalogue of unattainable dreams.
Now, Auntie Pearl knows that tempers can flare and emotions can run wild, so it’s important to keep calm. If you feel yourself getting heated like a frikadelle in a frying pan, take a moment to collect your thoughts. Pretend sommer that you are thinking about what they said.
In the end, it’s all about communication and understanding. Don’t be afraid to voice your feelings, but do it with compassion. Take care, Sammy, and keep shining bright like a diamond, even if it’s not a black diamond!
dailyvoice@inl.co.za