Q Hi Auntie Pearl! So, I’ve met this ou at work, and we hit it off like a house on fire… we really enjoy each other’s company, and there’s definitely some chemistry going on, you know?
But here's the popo: he’s already hitched, Auntie! Married with little ones running around.
The temptation is giving me a proper fright. I love our friendship, and I can’t bear the thought of causing any harm to his family. (And let me tell you, he talks highly of his wife and laaities, so it’s clear he loves them.)
Plus, if I want a man who can be faithful to me, I sure as heck don’t want him being unfaithful to someone else.
I must admit, I’m also super attracted to him, and it’s lekker to feel that vibe also coming from him. And while nothing has happened, I’m worried he might be falling in love with me.
It feels like this situation is gonna end in tears for someone. I’m scared that continuing to work and spend time together will only bring more pain.
His friendship has brought me so much happiness, but I could never forgive myself if I wrecked his marriage.
So, Auntie Pearl, do you have any advice on how to keep our friendship “safe”? I’d really appreciate it.
A Hi there, my dear. Auntie knows how finding a connection with someone, even at work, can be quite a thrill. But when they come with a ring on their finger, things can get messy faster than Lewis Hamilton in his Merc.
First things first, let’s keep it real and bekyk the situation straight in the eyes.
If this man is happily married, then you need to pump the brakes on any thoughts of getting romantically involved.
No good is going to come if you krap in ‘n ander vrou se slaai.
But it sounds to Auntie like you already know this, and for that you get a gold star.
Keep your head on straight, and don’t get any other gedagtes or try to convince yourself that taking things to the next level is a good idea.
Because Auntie has seen this go wrong a lot of times… it starts with “we really enjoy each other’s company and there’s definitely mutual attraction”, then it becomes “I can’t resist him and he can’t resist me”, and before you know it “oops, we’ve started an affair”.
You don’t want to step into that pile of poop. Besides, you mentioned you want a man who’s faithful, and if he’s willing to be unfaithful to his wife, then he won’t be any different with you.
Now, about this friendship you cherish. It’s clear you enjoy each other’s company, and that’s something special. But here’s the thing: you need to establish some serious boundaries.
Keep things strictly professional at work and avoid putting yourselves in situations where temptation can rear its ugly head. No sneaky lunches or late-night chats in the parking lot. It’s all about keeping your friendship on the right track, safe and sound.
There are plenty of people in the world with whom you can be friends. And there are plenty of men with whom you can have a relationship – and who aren’t hitched with a boatload of little ones.
Keep your heart open for someone who’s available and who can give you the love and faithfulness you deserve.
But if you ask auntie, it would be better to simply keep your distance from this man and let your friendship die a natural death.
It may not be as exciting as a whirlwind romance, but trust me, it’s much better than dealing with a broken heart or being the cause of someone else’s pain.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za