Q Hey there, Auntie! So, check this out: Me and my berk have been bymekaar for like over five years.
But here’s the thing; a few months back, he went on a trip without me because I couldn’t ditch work.
On the bus ride he met this lady. My man gave her his number, apparently not because he smaaks her, but because he wanted to hook her up with our friend. During the trip, my berk and that girl hung out a few times alone.
Usually I wouldn’t mind, but here’s the thing, Auntie: he never mentioned her to me while he was away because he thought I’d go bos. Now I found out they’ve been texting dik stukke.
A week ago she was in the area visiting her family, but my boyfriend made a fuss and insisted that we don’t meet. He reckons I’m too hostile towards her and doesn’t want me to make a scene.
He swears up and down that he doesn’t like her “that way” and that they are just friends.
But what bugs me is his sneaky behaviour. Why hide it if there’s nothing fishy going on?
Auntie, this whole situation feels like he’s treading the line of emotional cheating.
I’ve confronted him, but now almost every argument we have is about her. So, Auntie, tell me straight: am I making a mountain out of a molehill? Is this all normal?
A Meisie, Auntie can totally understand why you don’t like this new “friend” your berk has. There are a couple of moerse red flags that Auntie sees in this situation.
First, he didn’t tell you about her while he was on the trip; two, he doesn’t want you to meet her; three, al daai texting; and four, the fact that she is causing constant moeilikheid in your relationship.
It’s like you say, even if they haven’t physically hooked up, it doesn’t mean he is not “jolling”.
On the other hand, Auntie knows that things can easily ruk handuit between a couple when there is jealousy involved.
The first thing Auntie thinks you must do is to have a calm conversation about this whole gedoente.
Try to have a heart-to-heart talk and share your feelings with him without getting too defensive or confrontational. Explain why his behaviour bothered you and express your need for trust in your relationship.
It’s also important to take a step back and assess the situation from a different angle.
Consider whether your berk has given you reasons in the past to doubt his loyalty. If he has a track record of honesty and trustworthiness, it might be worth giving him the benefit of the doubt.
However, Auntie Pearl is a firm believer in gut feelings. If your instincts are screaming at you that something isn’t right, pay attention.
Trust your own judgment and don’t dismiss your emotions as overreactions.
But remember, my dear, it’s crucial to strike a balance between trust and personal boundaries. Relationships thrive on mutual respect, and that means being considerate of each other’s feelings.
If your boyfriend’s new friendship is causing you distress, talk about setting some boundaries that work for both of you.
Trust your gut, communicate openly, and let love guide you forward.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za