Q Auntie, I’ve got this friend – we go way back to our laaitie days. And while she now lives in Durban, we chat on the phone all the time.
She comes around this side once or twice a year, but, yoh, it’s like I’m chasing a phantom when she’s here.
I understand she’s got family and other friends to catch up with, but a lot of times, she hops on the taxi home without so much as a wave in my direction.
We even make plans, and then just like that, I get a “sorry, can’t make it”.
The weirdest part is she’s always starting our chats and acting like we’re still BFFs.
But now, I’m a bit scared to bring this up because I don’t want to make a mountain out of a molehill.
To add to the confusion, when we do manage to hang out, we end up doing the same old thing every time.
Even when I come up with some lekker ideas, she gives me the thumbs up, then chickens out. Which is weird, because she has always been a brave one, and I’m the shy type who likes to keep to my own lane.
So, Auntie Pearl, I’m a bit lost here, what do I do?
A My dearie, it sounds like there’s a lot going on between you two. But remember, friendship is like a pot of waterblommetjie bredie, it needs time and care to stay lekker.
Now, it’s obvious you two share a strong bond and she values you. She keeps the conversation going, doesn’t she? But maybe she’s not aware of how you’re feeling.
Auntie suggests that the next time she plans a visit, be a bit more upfront.
Let her know duidelik that you miss her and really want to see her. Don’t play the guessing game or sit back waiting for an invitation.
Say something like, “Hey, let’s make vaste planne to hang out when you’re here. No more of this ‘I’ll let you know’ business.”
Also, when it comes to the activities, you’re already on the right path suggesting new things.
It could be she’s just set in her ways or maybe the new stuff is out of her comfort zone too.
So keep suggesting, and eventually, she might just say yes.
And don’t worry about being shy or leaving your comfort zone, my darling.
It’s your friendship that’s the main thing here, not what you do together. So hang in there, keep the conversation open and honest, and remember to give yourself a little love too.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za