Q: Hi Auntie Pearl, I hope you can help me with this crush I have on a guy.
To be honest, I’ve been smaaking him for three years but have never made a move.
We are the same age - just over 50 - and we are friendly with each other and sometimes hang out at the same parties, but I always got the vibe that he’s just not interested in being in a relationship.
But a while ago I saw on Facebook he was chatting with a friend and he said he would like a girlfriend.
He also changed his profile picture to the Tarot card for the Four of Cups.
Should I take this as a sign?
I was thinking of dropping him a DM to confess my crush and asking him if he is interested. What do you think?
A: Jinne, three years is a long time to have your eye on someone and not making a move.
You’re playing a long game nuh!
Auntie hopes you have not just been waiting around all that time and missing out on other potential relationships. Ons raak mos nie jonger nie!
The first thing Auntie wants to tackle here is this “crush” and you wanting to “confess” it by sending him a social media message.
Hayibo, is jy ‘n 15-jarige dogtertjie? You are mos a grown woman. And he’s a grown man.
Just act like an adult and ask him out! Moet’ie vir jou kom skaam hou nie.
Like Auntie said, the clock is ticking.
You mos don’t want to waste your time daydreaming. Make it happen, queen, or move on!
Next up, this whole business with the Four of Cups. Ja, Auntie knows about Tarot cards.
The Cups suit is also referred to as Chalices or Hearts, and it represents the emotional and psychic aspects of life – fantasy, imagination, feelings, love.
Auntie can understand why you might be seeing this as “a sign”.
Those in the know say The Four of Cups often signifies feelings of discontentment or boredom with one's current situation, suggesting a longing for something more fulfilling.
However, it can also indicate a need to reassess one's perspective and appreciate the blessings that are already present.
So, while it might seem like a sign, it's important not to read too much into it. Tarot cards offer guidance, but they're not crystal balls.
Listen to what Auntie says: “Jy kan net 'n vis vang as jy die aas gooi!”
Go ahead, my dear, take that chance and see where it leads.
If things work out, then lekker for you!
If it’s not meant to be, at least you know where you stand and you can move on.
Q: Auntie Pearl tell me if I am versin, because I got into a huge fight with my berk.
He told me that a week ago he was on his way home from work and was putting some petrol into the car, when this girl came up to him and asked him for a lift.
She's apparently around his age, mid-20s, and a total stranger.
So my boyfriend decides to play taxi and goes to drop off this girl.
Now, my man ain't a cheater, but I can't help feeling some type of way about him being alone with a strange girl, doing her favours.
When I tried to tune him how I feel and why I think it's not on, he didn't get it.
In fact, he told me I am being crazy and overreacting.
So Auntie, am I being mal, or is my man out of line?
– From Debs
A: Sjoe, this is not an easy situation, and Auntie doesn’t want to take a hard stance either way… we would need a lot more deets to get to the heart of the matter.
But let’s work with what we have and explore all possibilities, nuh.
Debs, we get where you're coming from. Your man's out there giving random people a lift in the middle of the night, and it's not sitting lekker with you. But before we jump to conclusions, let's just calm down.
If you know your man, and you trust him, then trust that he's not out there looking for trouble.
It doesn’t sound to Auntie like he’s making a habit of this kind of behaviour, and he didn’t hide what he did. He told you everything!
Remember my dear, relationships are built on trust and communication. Don't let your insecurities get the better of you and turn into some crazy jealous girlfriend.
Take a deep breath, talk it out. He is clearly open to talking about it!
The important thing is not to get all opgewerk if your boyfriend doesn’t react the way you expect. You have to just make it clear to him why you are feeling like you do.
Ask him if he’d like it if you took a ride from a strange man at the petrol station…
But you know what, honey, if you know your berk is not a joller and this is not the kind of thing he does all the time, then in the grand scheme of things, this probably isn’t worth getting your panties in a bunch too much.
** Talk to pear: SMS “Pearl” and your message to 33258, or email dearauntiepearl@gmail.com.