Q: Auntie, a couple of years back, I got ghosted by my bestie from way back.
She ditched me with some therapy-speak about our friendship “not being what she needs in her life right now”.
Fast forward to 2024, and I hear she’s in the middle of a morsige divorce.
I have to admit that I’ve got a bit of a “kry vir jou” feeling, and wondering if she pulled the same break-up nonsense on her hubby and that it backfired.
But Auntie, I also feel for her and want to reach out. She’s cut me off on socials, but I know where she works and could drop her an email.
Would that be weird, given our history? What do you reckon, Auntie?
A: Meisie, hit the brakes. You say you feel sorry for her, maar in dieselfde asem tune jy dat jy lekker kry dat sy suffer. This doesn’t sound to Auntie like a great foundation for a supportive relationship – a new one or a renewal of ’n oue.
Sure, reaching out to someone you suspect might be going through a tough time is noble, but the vibes here ain’t quite right – surely you must see that?
While it’s natural to feel a bit of satisfaction when karma comes knocking, using her divorce as a potential way back into her life might not be the best move for you.
The history between you two sounds like there might still be some unresolved issues, and reaching out now with that still hanging in the air, combined with her divorce, will just add to her stress.
You might want to go in there trying to be a friend, but believe it when Auntie says she’s going to pick up on your gedagtes that she might deserve this and that you think it’s her fault with her “therapy-speak”.
It’s clear to just from your email that you have some unresolved resentment towards this girl.
If you truly want to reconnect with her in the future, when the time feels right, and you can honestly say you miss her friendship and are willing to move past whatever led to the breakup, then maybe it's worth considering reaching out.
But for now, Auntie suggests giving her some space to deal with her own stuff.
Q: Hello Auntie Pearl, I need you wysheid about a thing with my neighbour.
She’s been going through a rough time. We are not super close, but we are friendly and chat sometimes.
I was just thinking of doing something nice for her, like cooking a lekker meal.
The thing is that I know she doesn’t really like spicy food, and the only thing I’m really good at making is a hot curry.
Should I risk it and cook something spicy for her that I know is lekker, or try to play it safe with something bot like a salad?
Q: Ag, my dear, that’s so sweet of you! We really need more people to show some love and lend a helping hand during tough times.
Auntie likes your idea of making her a delicious meal, it’s a very nice way to show support.
Of course, you don’t want to turn up the heat if she can’t handle it!
We all know iemand who is not into spicy food. Shame, even if the food is amazing, the heat just ruins it for them.
So dear, why don’t you play it safe, and just send her a message saying something like: “Hey neighbour. Just wanted to let you know I’m thinking of you. I’m making some of my famous curry and thought I’d drop off a plate for you too. It’s nogal spicy, but would you smaak some? No pressure, just let me know. Hang in there!”That way, you cover all bases.
If she wants the curry, you are golden. If she doesn’t want it, you can make something more chill.
Either way, she’ll know you are thinking of her and she’ll appreciate the support.
Q: Hi Auntie, you’ve sometimes got some lekker home remedies for things we sukkel with, so I hope you can give some advice to this ou tannie as well.
I’m very shy, and I know I should probably go see a doctor but I’m a bit embarrassed and I don’t have money for the medicine and I don’t like going to the clinic.
I’ve got this thing on the side of my eye that looks almost like a pimple.
It’s a white dot and it’s red around the side. It’s nogal sore when I touch it. It appeared about a week ago.
Auntie, I also have suiker (diabetes) so I really don’t want to get sick from this naar eye.
What if it’s something serious? I’ve been popping Disprins like candy, but it’s still sore.
What can I do, Auntie?
Q: You know, Auntie knows a lot and you are right, I have a ton of home remedies, but you all mos know I’m not a medical doctor… so your first instinct was correct: You might need to go see a doctor!
Don’t worry about being shy or embarrassed, because the medical mense have definitely seen a lot worse than a little stye.
Oh yes, by the way, that’s what Auntie is pretty sure you have: a stye – a little sore thing in the corner of your eye or on your eyelid, red, like a boil or a puisie… that sounds exactly like a stye.
These goeters pop up when one of your skin pores gets all clogged up with dead skin cells, dirt, or oil buildup, and then bacteria moves in, giving you that painful situation.
Usually, if you keep your eye clean and leave it be – that means no touching, scratching or squeezing – it sorts itself out within a week or two.
Auntie knows it’s super uncomfortable, and it can hurt like hell, but there that’s a stye for you!
Still, sometimes it gets super nasty, and then you need an antibiotic.
So like Auntie said: I’m not a doctor and I obviously can’t have a look in person, so if it’s as bad as you say, it’s probably time to go to the clinic.
But if you feel you can hold out for a few days more, here are some of those home remedies.
First off, keep the area clean – that means no makeup, and don’t be touching it all the time.
Soak a clean cloth or cotton wool in some boiled water, let it cool a bit, and place it on your eye. As simple as that. Just a bietjie heat. Remember to keep it clean.Or you can try some tea instead of plain water – green tea is the best! You can even use the tea bag itself once it’s cooled down.
Keep any of these on your eye for 5 to 10 minutes a few times a day.
Another old remedy is to grate a potato, wrap it in a thin, clean cloth like muslin, and lightly stick that on your eye for 10 to 15 minutes, a few times a day.
And tannie, lay off the Disprin, nuh! It can be harmful if you overdo it.
** Talk to pear: SMS “Pearl” and your message to 33258, or email dearauntiepearl@gmail.com.