Q: Auntie, I need some serious advice here. My fiancé has started working from home and it’s totally messing up our relationship.
He’s turned into a moerse slob – he doesn’t shave anymore and his baard is all scruffy, he lams it uit in his PJs, he vriets junk food all the time.
Plus, despite him being at home all the time, he doesn’t help with chores. We used to be a team, keeping our house in order, but now if I want the dishes done before I start cooking, I have to do them myself.
I’m still having to take two taxis to go to work, plus doing the shopping, and then coming home to what feels like a laaitie having fun and games.
And that’s not just a saying, he actually does play video games sometimes!
Auntie, the romance is gone and it’s killing our sex life. I don’t find him attractive at all anymore. We were doing great before, but now everything’s going downhill fast.
Help, please. We’re not even married yet!
A: Ag shame, my dear. Auntie feels your frustration. And as much as we can spend time dissing your berk’s maniere, let’s rather zoom in on the problem.
Here’s what you need to do: Just sit him down and tell him exactly what you just told Auntie. Let him know how seriously this is affecting your relationship.
Remember, working from home can be tough on some folks. Self-discipline doesn’t come easy to everyone, especially with the distractions like games and TV.
Why don’t you help him set a proper routine? Encourage him to get up, shower and change into something other than PJs each morning. Maybe even set up a dedicated workspace that’s separate from his gaming set=up.
Suggest he sets specific work hours and break times. And when it’s time to clock off, he needs to help around the house, just like before.
Share the chores – make a schedule if you must. And when he’s off work, remind him to do things that aren’t just gaming, like going for a walk or cooking together.
If he gets his act together, then things might turn around. But if he doesn’t, and he keeps ignoring your struggles while living lekker at home, then Auntie says it’s time to run. Be grateful you found this out before tying the knot – you might just have dodged a bullet, my dear.
Stay strong and stand up for what you need. Love, Auntie Pearl.
Q: What’s up Auntie Pearl, can you make me wys about this move at work? I’m a guy in my late twenties, and there’s this meisie at work, let’s just call her Tiffany, who’s a couple of years older than me.
No, this isn’t going where you think… word on the street is that Tiffany is still a virgin.
To be honest, she is sweet, she works hard and she’s always ready to help a guy out.
I mean, we’ve had some good chats, but I can tell she’s lonely. She’s mentioned a few times that she’s never really had a boyfriend, and I can see how much it bothers her.
But Auntie, while I’m cool with Tiffany, some of the people in the office found out about Jane’s “situation” and started making gaai behind her back.
It’s vieslik and I don’t know how to stop it. The more I think about it, the more I feel bad for her. She’s a kwaai person who just hasn’t had the best luck in love.
So, I had this idea – maybe I should take her out on a date. Not because I’m in love with her or anything, but just to give her a good time and make her feel special.
But what if she takes it the wrong way? I don’t want her to think it’s a pity date or that I’m leading her on.
I really don’t know what to do, Auntie. Should I take her out and show her a nice time, or is that just going to make things worse? I want to help, but I don’t want to make a mess of things either. Please, give me some advice.
Cheers.
From Office Stud
A, Jinne, Auntie se kop is in ‘n spin, because I can’t figure out if you are actually a good guy, or a creep. On the one hand you seem nice because you care about a co-worker’s feelings, but on the other hand you refer to yourself as the “office stud” and have a plan to give a girl a “good time” without getting involved seriously.
But Auntie really does want to commend you for caring about Tiffany’s feelings and wanting to do right by her. It’s not everyone who would be so considerate.
So let’s just assume your ego is not a problem, and deal with what we’ve got here.
Taking Tiffany out on a “pity date” is a big no-no. A date should be about genuine interest, not charity. If she finds out your true intention, it’ll hurt her more than the naar grappies others workers are making.
It’s good you want to protect her, but you’ve got to be smart about it.
Instead, how about just being a good friend? Like you are already doing. Keep those chats going and maybe suggest doing something fun outside of work. This way, she gets to enjoy some company without any confusing signals.
Who knows? Maybe you’ll actually find a real deep friendship blooming there. Or even better, maybe if you are more social with her, you can find her a berk. Just don’t push it.
As for those co-workers making jokes, it’s time to be the dik ding you apparently think you are. Don’t laugh along with them. If you hear something, tune them it’s not cool.
You don’t have to start a fight, but showing you don’t approve can make a big difference. Sometimes all it takes is one person standing up to change the tone of the room.
Remember, being kind and supportive doesn’t mean you have to step into a romantic role you’re not comfortable with.
Just be there for her, and let her know she’s got a friend in you. That’s the best gift you can give.
dailyvoice@inl.co.za
Daily Voice