Q: Dear Auntie Pearl, I’m a 20-year-old meisie who really loves her boyfriend. We used to date in 2022, but then I left him.
Now at the end of last year, we got back together.
I really love him, but he has changed and he got involved with the gangs and all that type of s***.
Please help, what must I do?
From Confused.
A: Listen little Miss Confused, you had better get your kop straight and get the hell away from that boy.
When it comes to gangs and all those other vieslike things, you don’t want to be anywhere near it.
Look, Auntie can probably go on about how you should stay by his side and help him through his troubles and guide him back to the right path, but ain’t nobody got time for that.
You are young, and you at least have some sense since you realise the gangs and all that is not kwaai… so make the smart move and just get away.
You have many, many years ahead of you to look for love. Don’t think this guy is your one and only. You have already broken up once – at your age that should be a big enough sign that there’s probably no happily ever after.
Take care of yourself first, the rest will follow. Los die tsotsis, the drugs, and all the katte-kwaad.
The only way to have a good, better, best life, is to make the right choice!
Q: Hi Auntie, I’m a 47-year-old lady with a lekker lyfie, and hubby is a year older. The thing is that I am horny all the time and I smaak ’n stukkie. But my man is starting to push me away and says I’m greedy.
Is it normal to be so frisky at my age? I feel bad if he rejects me every time. What do you suggest?
From Jasmine.
A: So you can’t get no satisfaction, huh? Don’t you worry your pretty little head, Jasmine, Auntie’s got some wisdom to share.
First off, let me tell you that if you are still feeling frisky at 47 and embracing it and being open about it, you deserve a high five.
Auntie has said it before and she’ll say it again: Age is just a number!
Now, it sounds like your man can’t keep up with you. He’s calling you greedy? Nee girl, he needs to see things from your side. Meisie, it’s time for a chat, because you should not be suffering in silence. Let him know it’s not about being greedy; it’s about staying connected and keeping the spark alive.
Still, the reality is that everyone does not have the same sex drive. Your engine is clearly still revving like a hot rod ready to hit the track every day, but your hubby sounds like he’s more into Sunday cruises.
You are going to have to compromise. Maybe decide to have one or two “date” nights per week, minimum. This way you will get your satisfaction, and your hubby won’t be overwhelmed.
If you need more release more often, there’s no shame in taking matters in your own hands, if you know what I mean. And Auntie is not talking about jolling, we’re talking self-love.
Another option is to get some exercise.Ja meisie, engaging in vigorous exercise has various effects on your body, including influencing your sexual desire. Exercise releases endorphins, which are often referred to as "feel-good" hormones.
This is a win-win, because it also boosts overall wellbeing, increases energy levels, and improves your mood.
But always remember my dear, it ain’t just about the physical. Sometimes it’s the sweet nothings, the cuddles, and just being together. Quality over quantity.
Q: Dear Auntie Pearl, I’m involved with this guy and I love him dearly and he loves me, but the problem is that my family is not happy with us being together because of a mistake we made years ago.
What can we do to convince the family that we love each other, and that we have learnt from our mistakes?
From Sandra.
A: Ja nee, as if love can’t be tricky enough sometimes, it gets even more complicated when the family has got to have their say, right?
Now, it sounds like you and your man really are head over heels, and Auntie really likes what she is hearing about this “learning from your mistakes”. Everybody reading this can actually learn something from you!
First things first, talk to your family, darling. And Auntie doesn’t mean just tuning them that you two are back together and that they have to accept it.
You need to get real. Pour your heart out and let them know how much you’ve grown, how your love has deepened, and the lessons you’ve learned from that bump in the road.
They need to know that you are aware that things were crap before, that you accept it, and that you are working on it.
Acknowledge the mistake. We all mess up, but showing genuine remorse and growth can soften the hardest hearts.
But the real work is not lip service… actions speak louder than words.
Show your family the positive changes in your lives. Whether it’s pursuing personal dreams, being supportive partners – let them see the progress.
Change takes time. Be patient with your family, and give them the space to come around. Sometimes, folks just need a bit of time to adjust and see the love that’s still there.
** Talk to pear: SMS “Pearl” and your message to 33258, or email dearauntiepearl@gmail.com.