Q: Hey Auntie Pearl.
It’s your man Benny here.
So, here we are in the New Year, and like every year and like everyone else, I had a couple of drinks and then sat down with my thoughts to work on my resolutions.
Check them out:
- Drop some weight;
- Vriet healthier dite;
- Find a lekker stukkie and get hitched and pop out a few kids;
- Make a moerse lot of money;
- Become a bread-baking master.
This is pretty much my list from 2020, but apart from tuning a few mense straight on Facebook, I didn’t do any of the others.
I’m hitting 38 and need to get my act together. My mommy is always on my case about wanting grandkids, and I’m feeling the heat.
Also, I haven’t found a special lady yet. Should I try online dating, or just hit the clubs and try the old “Get your purse, meisie, we’re going to my place” move?
Help a guy out, please Auntie!
From The B-Man.
A: Jirre Benny, you mos sommer want Auntie to change her own New Year’s resolution to “Give B-Man ‘n klap so he kan skrik wakker and get real”.
But you know mos Auntie is not about violence, so let’s rather talk this out.
First off, why are you writing a whole book of goals, huh? That’s like trying to cram a month’s worth of groceries into one small shopping bag. It’s just not gonna work!
Keep your list short and sweet. Don't go making a list longer than the queue at Home Affairs.
Choose one or two goals that are actually achievable and really matter to you, and ditch the resolutions that sound good on paper but are about as practical as a chocolate teapot.
Dropping some weight and eating healthier, those are things that you are in control of.
But finding a wife to settle down with and have kids? Hayibo! Don't be rushing into things. Love can't be forced.
Your mommy might be longing for grandkids, but hey, life's not a race. Thirty-eight is not the end of the road. Give yourself some breathing space.
Anyways, you don’t sound ready for married vibes. Looking for a “stukkie” and wanting to “pop out a few kids” just makes you sound like a loser.
Also, you're not gonna become a millionaire overnight or suddenly transform into a gourmet chef when your idea of cooking is ordering takeout.
Overall, it just sounds to Auntie like you are feeling a bit lost and need someone to give you a verbal klap to get your life in order. And that’s what you are getting here.
But remember, Auntie’s pearls of wisdom are not gonna fix your life if you're not willing to put in the effort yourself.
You have to be the captain of your own ship, not just a passenger hoping for smooth seas.
If you want to lose weight and eat healthier, start with exercise and a meal plan.
If you want to make more money, get a better job or educate yourself so you can get further in your career.
Want to become the baas of baking bread, start looking at recipes and practice, practice, practise.
As for the special lady, well, trying to find love in the club with that approach? Forget it.
Jy moet ‘n helse lot meer respek hê vir vrouens!
And yes, online dating is a thing now, so give it a go. But drop the sexist, cheesy pick-up lines and just be yourself.
Overall, here’s the bottom line: don’t try and tackle all of this at once. Start with small, attainable goals.
Once you have achieved success, you can mos always tackle a new challenge.
Remember, just because you don’t tick off everything on your list does not mean you failed.
Achieving just one goal, or even simply making progress on one of those resolutions, is already a victory.
Life ain't a checklist. Don't go sulking like a kid who lost their sweets. Reevaluate, adjust, and keep growing.
Q: Happy New Year, Auntie Pearl. Thanks for all the wisdom last year, you rock!
I always love reading your column, but now I too need your help.
This thing has been coming for a long time.
You see, I am blêddie awesome at giving Christmas presents to my family members.
It’s because I’m just ahead of the game. I start plotting and planning the gifts sommer early in the year already. If I see something I know someone will smaak, I get it.
So every year, my gifts are the bomb!
But when it's time to unwrap, it's like the rest of the fam’s efforts are on a different level, and I’m left with a pile of presents that feels rushed and impersonal.
I don’t want to sound like a spoiled brat, but it doesn’t feel lekker.
How can I make sure things are different at the end of this year?
From Des
A: Ag shame, my dear Des, are you feeling a bit like the Grinch has been pulling the strings in your family?
This is a tough one, because as things stand, Auntie doesn’t think it’s going to be possible to suddenly turn your fam into gift-giving champions, but we can tweak your approach.
So Auntie has two game plans for you.
Plan one: Why not suggest to your family that instead of everyone buying gifts for whomever, you do a “Secret Santa”. You've probably heard of this.
Everyone writes their names down on pieces of paper, and then you draw it from a hat or something. So each family member only has to buy one really cool gift for another person.
This takes the pressure off them of having to gooi all over the winkels to get a bunch of crappy gifts.
Also, if they know early enough in the year about this, it will automatically be on their mind and they will be on the lookout for a perfect prezzie, just like you are doing now.
This is also a much less expensive way to celebrate Xmas, and we all know how tight money is!
Of course, feel free to get the kids some more gifts, it’s mos a bit different for them.
Plan two is to simply wrap your head around the fact that your family won't ever match your game. But that's cool.
Love ain't measured in gift wrap. Accept it. Keep your standards high without resenting the family.
If your gifts make others happy, that’s the true spirit of the jolly season.
** Talk to pear: SMS “Pearl” and your message to 33258, or email dearauntiepearl@gmail.com.