Mistake No.1: Do not make gaai of a woman's hare.
You may be the lovable, lagbol joker at the party. But the mood can change very quickly if you cross this line.
Girls, especially on the Flats, are very touchy about their hair and the lengths they go to to be on fleek. Don't go there!
Mistake No.2 - this is a tip for wannabe comedians and old pros like Chris Rock: Do not poke fun at medical conditions, whether it be a serious disease like cancer or Covid-19, or a non life-threatening condition like alopecia.
People do not choose to get sick and suffer. They may choose a dodgy hairdo or outfit or accessory, which can be easily changed. Know the difference.
Mistake No.3: Don't take a joke the wrong way. If there is a comedian in the room, and their intention is to lighten the mood, and not cause harm, accept it for what it is. This is their purpose or job. It's not personal.
Comics can get it wrong sometimes. If you feel a joke was out of line, take them aside later and tell them why.
Mistake No.4: Don't instigate a violent confrontation.
In the case of Will, Jada and Chris, many feel she incited the smack attack.
And many women cheered Will on for standing up for his queen (and her crowning glory) and were OK with him resorting to violence.
You do find those girlfriends who will stoke the fires. "Yoh, are you gonna leave it like that? Are you gonna let him take me for a...? What kind of man are you?"
That kind of provocation is lethal for a man like Will, who has had his ego battered and his manhood mocked in the media in recent years.
This following the snot-en-trane revelations of the Smiths' "open marriage" and Jada's self-admitted "entanglement" with another man.
So essentially what transpired (in prison speak) was: They made Will swak, and klapping Chris in public was an opportunity to make his nommer vol again.
And did it work? Did it nurse his ego? Did he reclaim his manhood? No.
He lost even more respect and was forced to publicly apologize hat in hand for his skollie maniere.
In hindsight, the best reaction would have been to just let it go.
It is showbiz after all. Everyone's a critic and a comedian. You need to roll with the punches and the punchlines.
Mistake No.5: Violence is not the right reaction.
Fortunately, this incident took place in Hollywood, in a secure environment with cameras, and the eyes of the world glued to the screen.
But imagine if these were two ouens at a house party on the Flats.
And one bra klaps the other for an offside remark about his kin's hair.
You know what would happen. An aggrieved Chris would call his manskappe, some of whom might be gangsters.
Very soon, that open-hand slap escalates to a knife or gunfight.
And on Monday morning, you have a headline reading "4 killed at house jol" on Page 5 of the Voice.
Sadly, Will Smith, an Oscar-winning superstar, showed the world that he is a man who chooses violence to express his anger and resolve his issues.
In a country like ours where violent crime is at crisis levels, we do not need these kinds of role models moulding our youth.
taariq.halim@inl.co.za