Q: Dear Auntie Pearl, please give some advice on what is going on with me and my berk. We have been together for a while now and we talk real deep and all that.
Way back we also had a discussion about social media, specifically about what’s cool and what’s not cool to do on there, especially when it comes to him watching and liking certain things that are disrespectful.
I’m talking about all the half-naked girls, booty pics, twerking videos and all those things.
He agreed because he said he would not smaak me checking out some other guys’ moves or lywe.
So we agreed, these kinds of posts are a no-go. But guess what? He goes and does it anyway!
I keep catching him watching and liking those kinds of pics and videos.
When I tune him about it, he gets dik upset and angry, or he sommer lies about it.
Our relationship used to be tight, but now instead of just letting it slide, I’m turning into a full-on social media detective, checking his likes, who he’s following, alles.
It’s like I’m stuck in this never-ending cycle of suspicion and stalking. What should I do to stop this madness?
– From Anna.
A: Jinne Anna, you are giving Auntie a double dose of trouble this early in the week! Because the reality is we are actually dealing with two issues here.
The first is your berk is showing some serious lack of respect by not sticking to the boundaries you agreed upon.
And the second is what you emailed Auntie about – your social media “stalking” gedagtes.
You know what, actually, there is a third issue that is making Auntie’s bors warm: Your boyfriend is lying to you! Yoh, girl, that is not on.
Auntie was about to tell you to chill out and that watching those videos might not be a big deal for most people, but the truth is it doesn’t matter if others think it’s not a big deal. It’s about what’s a problem for you. And clearly, this whole situation is eating at you.
What’s more worrying than him liking some posts online, is the fact that he made an agreement with you – his girlfriend – but he is not sticking to his promise. En dan lieg hy nogal daaroor. Shame on him!
If he wanted to look at, like and comment on whatever he wants to, then he should be clear about that.
Now, Auntie Pearl is not one to beat around the bush. You can’t police him. No amount of stalking his social media is gonna give you the peace of mind you’re after.
This all comes down to one thing: Trust.
If your boyfriend can’t get with the programme of being honest and respecting your boundaries, maybe it’s time to rethink if he’s the right person to be sharing your samoosas with.
Trust is the glue that holds relationships together, my dear, and without it, you’re just heading for a moerse gemors.
Q: Hey Auntie, I am having some trouble with my hubby of almost a decade. I found out that about a year back, he texted my sister, talking about doing her a favour if she does one back.
Then he hits her up saying he’s done his part, now it’s her turn. When I asked him about it, he spills the beans that he’d set up her ex with someone in exchange for... wait for it... a pic of her boobs! Can you believe it?
My sister swears blind she would never send such a pic, and my husband says it was all a big joke.
As Auntie can guess, my sis and I aren’t on speaking terms, and I’m struggling big time in my marriage.
I’ve got this wall up between me and the hubby, and I don’t even want him to touch me.
To top it off, he's lying about little stuff and getting gesuip all the time.
Auntie, I don’t know what to do or think. Should I just let the thing with my sister go? Or is it time ]for something more drastic like ditching the marriage?
– From B.
A: Honey, the first thing Auntie wants to know is why are you cutting ties with your sister when it’s your husband who’s acting like a gemors?
He’s the one making “deals” about nude pics, getting drunk, and lying to his wife. Meanwhile, your sister tuned him to voetsek!
Honestly, Auntie thinks the first thing you should do is to make up with your sis.
Next up is dealing with your husband. You need to have a serious talk with him, and look deep into your own heart. Do you see a happy future here?
A man who jokes about making dirty deals for nudes, who lies to his wife, and who hits the bottle all the time… is this the life you deserve?
Auntie doesn’t skeem so.
If you decide to give it a go, then give him one chance to ruk homself reg. Otherwise, be strong and take that drastic step.
** Talk to pear: SMS “Pearl” and your message to 33258, or email dearauntiepearl@gmail.com.